I have time on my hands....loads of it, and yet I never seem to have enough of it to do all the things that I need to do for other people.
I rarely ever actually do anything for myself, every job on the PC is for someone, be it designing something like a leaflet or a card, or a menu or whatever, then the printing and so on and so on.
So even though I have plenty of free time, I never seem to have enough of it. That's why I get irritated, like sand in vaseline when my time is wasted.
I was asked to do something that I didn't know how to do. I said I would ask a friend who knew and find out. I did. I spent around 2 hours of my time reading what my friend had said, learning how to do what was asked of me so I didn't fuck anything up, and spent time on 3 forums reading how others had done things just to sure that I was sure.
Turns out I wasted all that time and effort as someone was asked to do the same thing, only they took a week longer than me to do it and now the sun is beaming out of their arse like they can walk on fucking water and do no wrong.
As for me and my wasted time....well, it's just Will....bollocks to him until we need him to do something else...right??
So it's not childish, I acknowledge that the other person did a good job, and quite possibly bvetter than I could have, (although we'll never know), it just pisses me off that my time was wasted when it could actually have been spent doing something for someone that actually did want me to do things for them.
As I was lying awake at around 6am last night/this morning or whatever you wanna call it, my mind began to wander as it invariably does.
And I started to contemplate things and I got to wondering about stuff and things that have occurred as of late and then it got to thinking about an IM message and subsequent podcast, and I began to wonder....was I set up?
I don't really expect anyone to actually read this and have the remotest idea what in the hell I'm talking about, however, what if someone knew exactly what buttons to push in order to elicit a reaction and set in progress a course of events that have led me to where I am right now??
I don't for one second think that whoever it was, if indeed this was the aim at all, knew exactly what I would do, but I guess they may well have had a pretty good idea and are clapping their hands with delight at how things turned out.
Kinda like 9/11 and the Twin Towers...sure they meant to crash the jets into the towers, but they never could have imagined in their wildest dreams that they would both come down and that days events would be on the scale that they were. And if what I think may have happened did indeed happen, the same applies here.
Of course, this could all just be the deluded ramblings of a tired mind, but the more I think about it, the more I think I wandered into a baited trap and that someone is very pleased with their handy work.
I'm not deflecting blame here in any way as I was the one who monumentally fucked up, but I do think it was a trap more and more now.....BASTARDS!!
