old insulting one liners

[Maximal]

These glorious insults are from an era when cleverness with words was still valued, before a great portion of the English language was boiled down to 4-letter words.

1) The exchange between Churchill & Lady Astor: She said, 'If you were my husband I'd give you
poison,' and he said, 'If you were my wife, I'd drink it.'
2) A member of Parliament to Disraeli: 'Sir, you will either die on the gallows or of some unspeakable disease.' 'That depends, Sir,' said Disraeli, whether I embrace your policies or your mistress.'
3) 'He had delusions of adequacy.' -- Walter Kerr
4) 'He has all the virtues I dislike and none of the vices I admire.' -- Winston Churchill
5) 'A modest little person, with much to be modest about.' -- Winston Churchill
6) 'I have never killed a man, but I have read many obituaries with great pleasure.'-- Clarence Darrow
7) 'He has never been known to use a word that might send a reader to the dictionary.' -- William Faulkner (about Ernest Hemingway).
'Poor Faulkner. Does he really think big emotions come from big words?' -- Ernest Hemingway (about William Faulkner)
9) 'Thank you for sending me a copy of your book; I'll waste no time reading it.' -- Moses Hadas
10) 'He can compress the most words into the smallest idea of any man I know.' -- Abraham Lincoln
11) 'I didn't attend the funeral, but I sent a nice letter saying I approved of it.' - Mark Twain
12) 'He has no enemies, but is intensely disliked by his friends.' -- Oscar Wilde
13) 'I am enclosing two tickets to the first night of my new play; bring a friend.. if you have one.' -- George Bernard Shaw to Winston Churchill
14) 'Cannot possibly attend first night, will attend second... if there is one.' -- Winston Churchill, in response.
15) 'I feel so miserable without you; it's almost like having you here.' -- Stephen Bishop
16) 'He is a self-made man and worships his creator.' -- John Bright
17) 'I've just learned about his illness. Let's hope it's nothing trivial.' -- Irvin S. Cobb
1 'He is not only dull himself, he is the cause of dullness in others.' -- Samuel Johnson
19) 'He is simply a shiver looking for a spine to run up.' -- Paul Keating
20) 'There's nothing wrong with you that reincarnation won't cure.' -- Jack E. Leonard
21) 'He has the attention span of a lightning bolt.' -- Robert Redford
22) 'They never open their mouths without subtracting from the sum of human knowledge.' -- Thomas Brackett Reed
23) 'In order to avoid being called a flirt, she always yielded easily.' -- Charles, Count Talleyrand
24) 'He loves nature in spite of what it did to him.' -- Forrest Tucker
25) 'Why do you sit there looking like an envelope without any address on it?' -- Mark Twain
26) 'His mother should have thrown him away and kept the stork.' -- Mae West
27) 'Some cause happiness wherever they go; others, whenever they go.' -- Oscar Wilde
2 'He uses statistics as a drunken man uses lamp-posts...for support rather than illumination.' --Andrew Lang (1844-1912)
29) 'He has Van Gogh's ear for music.' -- Billy Wilder
30) 'I've had a perfectly wonderful evening. But this wasn't it.' -- Groucho Marx

[Purple Dragon]

the old ones are the best .