Who's gonna care for you ?

[mommysalomi]

So I have to get this out there.. I'm just gonna go on and on but I really need to ... So I now take care of my sisters three kids and her and my mom.. WTF I did not sign up for all this.. I bust my ass every fucking day to clean the house do the laundry cook.. Breakfast lunch and dinner all the while getting no help from anyone.. My sister sits on her bed on the fucking phone ignoring her kids my mom hides in her room pretending life is grand and I just do and do.. Anyways I have now forgot what it is like to smile or be happy. I sit here after an argument with my 12 year old nephew wondering why I try. He started yelling at me calling me names and telling me he wishes I would just die.. This upset me and I yelled at him and my mom got upset I told her why I was yelling and now she is pissed off at me and went and treated him like a baby.. He is very lucky I didnt grab him by the throat and put his ass through the wall... So now here I am the bad guy and all this cause I asked him to shower as he has not since last week...

I have to wonder if this is worth it. Should I just throw my hands up and let them all get bent. All I am is some maid. I try to remind myself they are kids and they need me but honestly I dont know anymore.. No one appretiates anything in this fucking house..

My back has been killing me for 2 days now and I have not been able to pee since monday night.. But I still go on as really who is gonna care anyways ????

I'm close to losing my damned mind and dont know what to do. It does not help that I have no friends here to talk to....I now I could call Sinny but I cannot bother her with this as she is so happy right now... I seriously think If I did not wake in the morning it would be for the best... Well maybe not cause I mean for real who would cook and clean if I was gone????

So the title to my ramble is really a question.. When you care for everybody everyday then who's gonna care for you when you need someone to ??? I know I have my husband but the way I have been feeling he is getting the blunt end of everything and I just dont even want him to look at me anymore as I just feel so damned ugly and so full of hate for myself and I'm sorry guys I just had to get this out somehow and cant put it anywhere else as I dont want my kids to read this


PS if I try to tell my mom or sister anything they get all butthurt and want to make me feel guilty for caring

[WillRiker]

MTW would miss you if you were gone.

Hopefully you'll feel a little better for typing it all out. I know it's not quite the same as actually talking to someone about things, but sometimes it really is just good to vent the frustration, even if it is just online.

And I have a piece of exclusive 2009 MTW Merchandise I'll be sending out towards the year end and now you've seen the quality of the stuff you just know you gotta stick around to see that.

[mommysalomi]

Oh I'm not going anywhere just one of those would you really be missed things... And it felt alot better to just write it out. Still not happy but I can live with that..

[Purple Dragon]

ah mommy i do feel for you,but we are all your friends on here we want you to be happy and smile..and i'm glad you will always be around xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

[smilin heinz]

Hey sister, I feel for ya, I have similar feelings pretty much everyday, only it's my kids and hubby making me feel that way!

The kids are lucky they have you honestly!! It would be a tragedy if you weren't there for them.

The next time you mom butts in after you've had a heart to heart with one of the kids I'd let her have it too! Just like you did on here, tell her if she doesn't like what you're doing to get up off her ass and do something about it and if she isn't prepared to then she needs to sit the hell down and shut the fuck up!

From the sound of it they're all incredibly blessed to have you there so don't let them treat you like you're invisible or a piece of shit because you're neither!!

And, anytime you need to talk or vent gimmie a call, I love to bitch!

[Iamthesevendeadly_sins]

Jesus H. Christ. I am sooo sorry this is happening to you mommy. You are my best friend and can call me anytime day or night, I don't give a flying fuck how my life is going. Just always know, even though we are miles apart you'll still always have my shoulder to cry on, bitch on, or even piss on... but I would like that waaay too much! I love you! And yes, you should call me or at least give me a number to call you. I miss not having you in my life. Don't put up with other people's bullshit mommy, especially from your own family.