Tried my best

[Irondog]

As I read Bunnyman's last ramble I saw that everyone has their own problems and bullshit they have to deal with on a daily basis so I guess I am no different. Sorry to hear about your job B-man.........I am sure you will find something better. My wife is in the same business as a server so I know what you mean about the BS you guys put up with dealing with customers. I know I couldn't do your job and I always take into consideration what you guys do when I go to eat out.

As for me............well, I have been dealing with a stepson that seems to blame me for everything that is wrong with his life and on Friday it all came to a head at his probation officers office. After meeting the PO for about 15 minutes she stepped out of the office to get a drug test for our son and when she did he said that he wished he could just die so he didn't have to deal with all the bullshit that he is facing. This prompted me to tell the PO when she got back what he had said and as I knew would happen she had to take it seriously and called in a Sheriff to interview our son to see if he was serious. As they put the cuffs on him.........for his own protection as well as keeping the situation under control he looked at me and said "I hope your happy now.......now they can take me away and you won't have to deal with me anymore." They admitted him into the physco ward in Riverside which is an ugly place and are deciding if he is serious about killing himself.

Every once in awhile something happens that makes you stop and think about life and look at all the pressures we deal with on a daily basis. I am the type of person that has never thought about killing myself, even though I have had my share of crap to deal with growing up. I have a real hard time understanding depression even though I take a happy pill myself.......for a different reason though. Talk about cutting me to the bone though, what he said really caught me off guard and has been on my mind all day. I hope that he talks to the shrinks and tells them all that is upsetting him. They can only help if he opens up to them. As for me............I am going to use this as a lesson to try to use when my daughters get older so they don't feel the need to do anything drastic.

Needless to say, it is affecting my relationship with my wife and at times I forget to be compassionate and all hell breaks loose. All I want is my family to be happy and safe.........I will do everything in my power to make sure that happens. So anyways.......sorry to throw all this depressing shit out there but I always seem to feel better when I do.

Of course..........it always makes me feel better to make fun of Max too.....

Later BUTTWIPES!!!!

[Maximal]

It sounds like you are doing what you need to do to keep your family safe and also help your son, he'll see it one day. In the mean time don't let it affect home life, if you feel like it is do a littl something extra for her.

Above all keep on laughing dude and if making fun of me puts a little grin on your face then looking in your diaper should make you laugh out loud!

[Layni]

I agree with Maxi keep your family safe and yourself sane-- well at least as sane as you ever were before.

* Maxi- what's littl?

[BunnyMan]

I've known quite a few kids who had some major problems when they were in the 16-18 range. (i'm guessing your step-son is close if not in it?) Some got help, some didn't, some that got help got better, some that didn't got better. It seems so much to just be different people and the way they are hard wired. I don't think of myself as that 'experienced' by any means but last time I talked to some kids at the high school I used to attend about college and life after graduation it really amazed me how many kids really think they got it all planned out; and I always feel bad cause I remember those kids in my grade and now they are the ones working at wal mart back in the home town and a lot of the people like myself, who had nothing like a plan in HS are now leading fairly independent lives and have moved on. Although I gotta say I sometimes wish I were more immature.

I've digressed here, what I'm trying to say is that hopefully he's just one of those people that need someone to talk to him who he doesn't think "is out to crush his plans" or whatever. You get to a point though where you can't keep hoping he'll grow out of that phase.

And just to comment on it, I acctually don't mind serving as a job (bartending either). I just hate serving at Applebees.

[smilin heinz]

I am not an expert but maybe you should all think about counseling together. Alot of times in mixed families no matter how hard you try to prove you love the child from the previous marriage all they see is new family and happiness. When what they're used to is the old family and misery, so they are part of the old. I can tell you really do care what happens to this kid and if it is affecting your marriage then even suggesting couseling could help. It would show your wife just how much this all means to you and everything. You seem to be making all the right moves though, don't waver on that.

[Purple Dragon]

honest doggie you have done what you can for him,one day he will thank you for it.you keep your family safe.and i no its hard trying to say the right thing to your wife about her son,but he is that her son ,i have two stepkids and i dont like them ,they are a waste of space, but i tread carefully as to what i say bout them as not to upset neal.i'm the same if neal says anything about my kids i go down his throat,even if he trying to help.it's always the younger one as will is no problem at all.all these problems are sent to see how we can cope....keep copeing doggie.