CATS SUCK

**TATTOOED_1_ONE** · 10-13-2006, 08:25 AM

Ok so I have pets, a dog and four cats...yup fur everywhere all of the time.

Yesterday I woke up and got stuff ready, I needed to paint the utility room floor, So I unhook the washer and dryer and pull them out of there.

Down on my hands and knees and scrape all the loose and flaking paint that was there and then sand out the edges and make the surface as close to level as possible so as to have a decent floor in there and open up the new color for the floor "Brick red"

Nice easy brush strokes, leaving no lines or pools of paint and then wait 2 hours and do a second coat....once again easy brush strokes (unlike Irondog stroking) and it looks good.

Time to refill the downstairs fridge with beer, so out to the garage where I have 10 cases stacked up and another full beer fridge (you all know the rule...a fridge in the garage Must have beer in it at all times) So I decide to sit down and have a beer out there while putting some tools back in their spots on the pegboard and work bench.

3 beers later the workbench is organised again so I grab two cases of beer and go back into the house to take them downstairs, but what do I see?

Red fucking cat paw prints coming from the downstairs and all over the new carpet and going to the upstairs as well as a red imprint of what appears to be a red cat that had layed down on my couch!

The beer gets left on the kitchen floor as I start following cat prints around my house and finally locate what had been my grey cat who is now red...Meko has a habit of rolling around on any new floor surface and I had completely forgotten about it and not closed the pet gate to downstairs when I went to get my beer, so she took advantage of the situation.

FUCK, FUCK FUCKFUCKITYFUCKFUCKFUCK!!!!!!!!

Dont try to chase a painted cat!

After running everywhere she could she wound up on my freshly made bed with no longer white sheets, I was able to capture her...out to the garage and locked in a dog kennel until I have time to wash her damnit.

Grab the carpet shampooer and gallon of carpet shampoo and carry all of it into the house where I promptly trip over 2 cases of beer and drop the carpet shampooer and shampoo which breaks open and spills everywhere!

I have blood coming out of my head from where I j=hit the cabinet when I fell, the carpet cleaner is digging into my ribs where I landed on it, so fuck it! I roll over grab a beer that is trying to roll away and open it....yup....beer sprayed all over me and everywhere else. Got two swallows of foam...try another one, this one does not explode and helps me regain my composure, but someone is knocking at the door?

I go to answer the door (covered in carpet shampoo, beer and blood) and it is my neighbor who had been raking his lawn and heard me swearing, He just wanting to know if I was ok as he gazed into my home with red cat prints all over the carpet and starts laughing as I tell him whats going on.

He goes and gets his shampooer and wife and a fresh gallon of cleaner and we all get to work on cleaning up the mess.

I am happy that I have decent neighbors and get along with them well.

After all of the help they gave me of getting everything cleaned up and into the wash (his wife was great at pretreating and getting the paint off of my sheets) I took them out to Olive Gareden for dinner.

So now I am getting ready to repaint the floor again....the cats are all locked in the garage and the dog is outside and one cat is still red and crying about it, but no pets are coming inside until everything is dry and done damnit!

**mommysalomi** · 10-13-2006, 08:41 AM

That sucks....We had blue kitty prints all over the house once and on the new couch, But I did that on purpose to get back at my dad and uncle who thought it would be fun to fuck with my cat when they were shit face drunk..They were so mean to it they taped it to the ceiling fan to watch it spin around and around...It was only on low and my dad loves animals..Just a stupid drunkin night he will forever remember due to the paw prints on the couch...

**Maximal** · 10-13-2006, 09:09 AM

sorry Tat, but the image of you lying there, reaching for a grabbing an old friend to help you who then kicks you when you are down, that is just some funny shit

**TATTOOED_1_ONE** · 10-13-2006, 09:18 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Maximal

sorry Tat, but the image of you lying there, reaching for a grabbing an old friend to help you who then kicks you when you are down, that is just some funny shit

Dont I know it!, but all has ended well and me and Budweiser are back on good terms!

**mommysalomi** · 10-13-2006, 09:20 AM

Quote:

(you all know the rule...a fridge in the garage Must have beer in it at all times)

I agree and dont even drink beer. I never knew there was a reason for a fridge in the garage other than to keep the extra beer....

Makya · 10-13-2006, 12:16 PM

I wish I could have seen the look on your face when you opened the door.

It's cool that you have awsome neighbors instead of the ones that I had back in Virginia.

**BunnyMan** · 10-13-2006, 02:11 PM

I honestly laughed pretty hard durring most of that.

Good post tat.

lilmamma · 10-13-2006, 04:04 PM

omg thats fucking hallarious i could just you cursing and trying to chase the red cat

good thing you have such nice nighbors

10-13-2006, 08:25 AM	#1 (permalink)
TATTOOED_1_ONE Junior Monkey Premium Member Join Date: Sep 2004 Posts: 901	CATS SUCK Ok so I have pets, a dog and four cats...yup fur everywhere all of the time. Yesterday I woke up and got stuff ready, I needed to paint the utility room floor, So I unhook the washer and dryer and pull them out of there. Down on my hands and knees and scrape all the loose and flaking paint that was there and then sand out the edges and make the surface as close to level as possible so as to have a decent floor in there and open up the new color for the floor "Brick red" Nice easy brush strokes, leaving no lines or pools of paint and then wait 2 hours and do a second coat....once again easy brush strokes (unlike Irondog stroking) and it looks good. Time to refill the downstairs fridge with beer, so out to the garage where I have 10 cases stacked up and another full beer fridge (you all know the rule...a fridge in the garage Must have beer in it at all times) So I decide to sit down and have a beer out there while putting some tools back in their spots on the pegboard and work bench. 3 beers later the workbench is organised again so I grab two cases of beer and go back into the house to take them downstairs, but what do I see? Red fucking cat paw prints coming from the downstairs and all over the new carpet and going to the upstairs as well as a red imprint of what appears to be a red cat that had layed down on my couch! The beer gets left on the kitchen floor as I start following cat prints around my house and finally locate what had been my grey cat who is now red...Meko has a habit of rolling around on any new floor surface and I had completely forgotten about it and not closed the pet gate to downstairs when I went to get my beer, so she took advantage of the situation. FUCK, FUCK FUCKFUCKITYFUCKFUCKFUCK!!!!!!!! Dont try to chase a painted cat! After running everywhere she could she wound up on my freshly made bed with no longer white sheets, I was able to capture her...out to the garage and locked in a dog kennel until I have time to wash her damnit. Grab the carpet shampooer and gallon of carpet shampoo and carry all of it into the house where I promptly trip over 2 cases of beer and drop the carpet shampooer and shampoo which breaks open and spills everywhere! I have blood coming out of my head from where I j=hit the cabinet when I fell, the carpet cleaner is digging into my ribs where I landed on it, so fuck it! I roll over grab a beer that is trying to roll away and open it....yup....beer sprayed all over me and everywhere else. Got two swallows of foam...try another one, this one does not explode and helps me regain my composure, but someone is knocking at the door? I go to answer the door (covered in carpet shampoo, beer and blood) and it is my neighbor who had been raking his lawn and heard me swearing, He just wanting to know if I was ok as he gazed into my home with red cat prints all over the carpet and starts laughing as I tell him whats going on. He goes and gets his shampooer and wife and a fresh gallon of cleaner and we all get to work on cleaning up the mess. I am happy that I have decent neighbors and get along with them well. After all of the help they gave me of getting everything cleaned up and into the wash (his wife was great at pretreating and getting the paint off of my sheets) I took them out to Olive Gareden for dinner. So now I am getting ready to repaint the floor again....the cats are all locked in the garage and the dog is outside and one cat is still red and crying about it, but no pets are coming inside until everything is dry and done damnit! __________________ I used to have problems, then I got an attitude and now there are bodies where the problems used to be....

10-13-2006, 08:41 AM	#2 (permalink)
mommysalomi cannot get away Premium Member Join Date: May 2005 Posts: 5,333	Re: CATS SUCK That sucks....We had blue kitty prints all over the house once and on the new couch, But I did that on purpose to get back at my dad and uncle who thought it would be fun to fuck with my cat when they were shit face drunk..They were so mean to it they taped it to the ceiling fan to watch it spin around and around...It was only on low and my dad loves animals..Just a stupid drunkin night he will forever remember due to the paw prints on the couch... __________________ Cleverly disguised as a responsible adult

10-13-2006, 09:09 AM	#3 (permalink)
Maximal I'm Surrounded by Retards Premium Member Join Date: Jul 2004 Posts: 11,980	Re: CATS SUCK sorry Tat, but the image of you lying there, reaching for a grabbing an old friend to help you who then kicks you when you are down, that is just some funny shit __________________ Mortys Twisted Treasure Hunt

10-13-2006, 12:16 PM	#6 (permalink)
Makya MTW's Baddest Bitch Join Date: Apr 2004 Posts: 1,923	Re: CATS SUCK I wish I could have seen the look on your face when you opened the door. It's cool that you have awsome neighbors instead of the ones that I had back in Virginia. __________________ If you can't dazzle them with brilliance, then baffle them them with bullshit.

10-13-2006, 02:11 PM	#7 (permalink)
BunnyMan Mr MTW Fuckin' Know It All Premium Member Join Date: Jul 2003 Posts: 1,377	Re: CATS SUCK I honestly laughed pretty hard durring most of that. Good post tat. __________________ Go To Dark Ninjas.com!

10-13-2006, 04:04 PM	#8 (permalink)
lilmamma Elder Monkey Join Date: Mar 2005 Posts: 3,090	Re: CATS SUCK omg thats fucking hallarious i could just you cursing and trying to chase the red cat good thing you have such nice nighbors __________________ One saggy boob said to the other saggy boob: "If we don't get some support soon, people will think we're nuts."

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