WHY are guys such putz's ????

[mommysalomi]

Honestly I dont think I could get rid of him even if I wanted to

However no matter how pissed or hurt I am I am not a vindictive person [ Hahhahah yeah right ] toward my husband.

I just dont think it is fair that after 15 years there should of a long time ago been some give and take not always give and no return. Although I must say the begining of the year when I was so sick and had the surgeries he did a wonderful job of taking care of me....

I also dont think it is right for a man or woman to blatantly ignore thier spouse and then turn it around on them You know when someone hears you and just chooses to ignore you . If you genuinly did not hear me them tell me but dont flip out on me unless I deserve it.. And I would be the first to stand up and admitt I deserved something !!! I guess you can say I take it like a real woman !!!!

[Morty]

Try this......

Write all your thoughts out on paper. Basically as if you had to have this discussion with him via mail. Put it all down on a letter, and someday when you're making a run to the grocery store, or going to be gone for a few hours, hand it to him on your way out the door.

And in the letter, make it PERFECTLY clear, that you just wanted to clearly get your thoughts out to make sure he fully understands what upsets you. And don't target him the entire time. Make sure to point out some of your flaws and where you could "give" more too. And at the end of the letter make the point that this doesn't need to be discussed when you get home. There is no arguments to be held. You just wanted to share your thoughts with him on a calm and stressless level. And when you get home, you expect him to not be upset or angry, and you both carry on with your day as if you never wrote the letter in the first place. Its just a peaceful expression of your thoughts that you have trouble clearly piecing together when you two do have your disagreements.

And when you walk in the door, YOU act like you never wrote the letter too and go about your day and never ask about the letter and don't ask his opinion on what he thought about the letter. The letter never existed. And if he leaves it out, pretend you don't see it.

Cuz he may be testing you to see if you can keep your trap shut about the letter. Just to see how genuine your comments were.

[Purple Dragon]

morty is so right about writing what you want to say down,i've done it many times and it works..you just have to remember dont mention the letter...worth a try mommy.....

[mommysalomi]

That is a damned good idea.. Have to give it a shot

[BunnyMan]

I only read the first post, but in the defence of SOME men, they may actually not be paying attention. Ours minds wander at times, I remember once thinking about what I had to do tomorrow for a moment while at a strip club. But then again my brain may have just needed something running through its head other than "BOOOOOOOOOOBIES!".

My roommate is a great example, his girlfriend is constantly yelling at him for not listening, kid just has the memory of a goldfish sometimes and forgets things as quickly as the subject changes. He can actually watch a movie a dozen times and every time have forgotten the ending. (not in a row, but still) The other half of the time she's talking, he's spacing, and by the time he even realizes someone is talking to him she's done.

It's funny to witness as a third party.

[Purple Dragon]

that must be good sitting listening to your room mates and having a quite giggle...

[BaDFiShFoReVeR]

the whole problem i see. we're suppose to care about what they want like need eat sleep see think say say say say say and shit. but we bring up our interest and they got nothing to say. when i was single i was way less lonely. 8 yrs into it btw.

[Morty]

Originally Posted by BaDFiShFoReVeR

the whole problem i see. we're suppose to care about what they want like need eat sleep see think say say say say say and shit. but we bring up our interest and they got nothing to say. when i was single i was way less lonely. 8 yrs into it btw.

I can agree to part of that.

[mommysalomi]

Yup, I agree with some of it also. However me and Jason for the most part are together for at least 20 hours of a day so our intrests are mostly the same. Except that ultimate fighting shit He loves it I do not But I do listen to him talk about it and I even ask questions.. You see I do start fights I do get angry I can yell and throw things like the best of them however I also am the first to break on an argument, I put myself aside to make sure he is happy I will buy him stuff before myself.. I'm just not a selfish person and always think of him and the kids before anything. Hell I get mad if he doesnt let me make him his plate after I've cooked dinner.. And I prefer to cook everynight than to go out.. Ya'll ask Sinny everynight...It just sucks cause now Im cooking for 9 people them cleaning after them all. Sure wish someone else would cook occasionally...

I am the supreme being I am the fifth element !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[Morty]

20 HOURS A DAY?

Home business? Welfare? Workers Comp? Disabled?

So neither of you leave to go to work?

That's probably half the problem. You spend too much time together.