How to confuse a man

Originally Posted by lucas

waitasec.... you get a naked chick and a six pack and a remote....

but is the chick hot? or is she fat?

is the beer good? or is it coors light or some gay american shit?

and do you get hbo on your cable? or is it just the basic package that gives you thebroadcast channels and the gay home and garden?

these are all things worth considering before i can make my choice.

Wow, that really IS a confusing choice. I hadn't considered these aspects. Hmm...is she hot or fat? Well there's fat, then there's FAT. A little fat is hot sometimes, there's no doubt about that. But FAT is NEVER hot - not even luke warm. Now the "six pack", that doesn't really specify beer. Could be soda or bottled water, for all I know. And I STILL havn't figured out the remote problem yet. Damn. Guess I'll have a beer and ponder this dilemma awhile longer!

[Morty]

Don't worry about the fat.

Close your eyes, wiggle your way up tight, then hump away.

And if she's too fat to hump, you can always squeeze a mound of that fat together with both your hands and just hump that. Good wad of spit will give that fat crevice some slippy-slide to it.

[WillRiker]

Originally Posted by Makya

Fuck the tv.

Electricity & Bodily fluids. I'm no electrician (that's Morty's territory), but I'm pretty sure that it wouldn't end well.

:burn:

[Morty]

Back in school, when I was getting my electrical degree, our teacher told us about how this one girl would sneak into the electrical shop class and touch the live parts of the various electrical equipment and just stand there and get her jollies. It some how didn't kill her but the pulsing electricity through her body actually gave her an orgasm. He said he saw her all the time until they actually caught her doing it and realized what the fuck was going on. They just figured she was coming up to see her boyfriend or something since we were on the 2nd floor. Never paid much attention to her.

[lucas]

chubby chicks are hot. that's a fact.

there's a whole fetish thing on electric shock. that's how scientists get elephant jizz.