 |  |  |  |  |
| | ||||||
| | | |||||
|
| | |||||
| | | | ||||
Who's Online:
Jezza , and 14 guests.
Who's Chatting: |
|
| |||||||||||||||||||||
04-21-2004, 08:00 AM
| #1 (permalink) |
| Newbie Join Date: Apr 2004
Posts: 19
| WalMART
A guy had some pain in his elbow and was asking his friend if he knew a good doctor. The friend replied, you dont need a doctor. WalMart has a machine that can help you for free. The guy thought it sounded crazy, but he decided to give it a try. He went to the store found the machine. The instructions told him to put a sample of his urine in. He again thought this sounded crazy, but went on and did as the machine said. After putting his urine in the machine it instructed him to wait for a moment. A few minutes later the machine told him he had tennis elbow and that he needed to not use the elbow for a while. The guy went home thinking , how can this be? That had to be a lucky guess. The next day this guy thought he would try to trick the machine. Taking a cup he got a few drops of water from his sink, a few drops of urine from his wife, afew drops of urine from his daughter,some dog shit from the yard,and he jerked off in the cup. He took the cup back to WalMart poured it into the machine,waited a moment and this what it said. You have hard water call the plumber, your wife is pregnant with twins and they arnt yours, call a lawyer, your daughters on drugs, get her to rehab, the dog has worms,call the vet,and if you dont stop jerking off that tennis elbow will never heal.
__________________ The grass might be greener on the other side, but it will still need mowed! |
|      |
|
04-21-2004, 03:56 PM
| #8 (permalink) |
| Established Monkey  Join Date: Aug 2003
Posts: 494
 | Hillbilly Jokes
A Hoosier is walking down the street when he sees a hillbilly with a very long pole and a yardstick. He's standing the pole on its end and trying to reach the top of it with his yardstick. Seeing the hillbilly'signorance, the Hoosier wrenches the pole out of his hand, lays it on the sidewalk, measures it with the yardstick, and says, "There! 10 feet long." The Hillbilly grabs the yardstick and shouts, "You idiot Hoosier! I don't care how long it is! I want to know how high it is!"
__________________ You know, men and women are a lot alike in certain situations. Like when they're both on fire - they're exactly alike. Dave Attell |
|
| |
|
04-21-2004, 04:00 PM
| #9 (permalink) |
| Established Monkey Join Date: Aug 2003
Posts: 494
|
Hillbilly firing squad.....stands in a circle. Hillbilly loan shark lends out all his money, skips town. A hillbilly guy wins a brand new sports car in a contest. He drives around all the time waving at the rednecks. One day the rednecks stop him, they draw a circle in the dirt and say "If you step out of that circle, we will kick your ass." They pick up hammers and start busting up his new car. They look back and the hillbilly is smiling. They hit the car some more, and he is laughing. They walk over to him and ask "Why are you laughing, we just busted up your car." He says "I know, but I stepped out of the circle 9 times." Q: How do you stop a Hillbilly army on horseback? A: Turn off the carousel.
__________________ You know, men and women are a lot alike in certain situations. Like when they're both on fire - they're exactly alike. Dave Attell |
|
| |
Linear Mode
