Rudolph's Journal

[PPFLIGHT]

Rudolph's Journal
Well, he asked me to do it... AGAIN. Of course, I should've seen this one coming. All the signs were there. I guess I just hoped maybe this year would be different.

I detest the fat bastard, I really do. My hatred for him though pales in comparison to how I feel about the others. Atleast the rest of the year, he tries to make an effort. Oh don't get me wrong, high and mighty Santa isn't falling all over himself to drop by my house or anything, but he will atleast make eye contact and give me one of those nods which means, "Hello, I know you're there, but I don't really want to SAY anything for fear of being uncool." Kind of ridiculous if you ask me. I mean, I know this is his way of setting a "good example" for the other team members, but his good example leaves a lot to be desired.

Anyway, I mentioned all the signs were there. Santa suddenly has a new found interest in my life and my activities. Especially those involving December 24th. One year, just to screw with him, I going to make plans for that night. Then what will he do? I knew he what he was getting at though. And the rest of them too. Everyone all suddenly being all nicey-nice to me. "Hey Rudolph, how's it going?", and "Hey Rudolph, did you check out the game last night?" Do they think I'm stupid? I know they're not really interested. They only want me for my nose. See, if I don't come through on the 24th, they're all out of a job, and they know it. It sucks to have to depend on the one you hate doesn't it?

Donner and Blitzen invited me over for a Bratwurst BBQ with the rest of the guys. Look, I know they're German, but does anyone actually eat that shit? I passed, but I'm sure Dancer and Prancer will be there. Who are they to pass up a long, hard, phallic shaped piece of meat? Hey! There's an idea for Santa, maybe he could tell those two to forego the lubrication for a few nights. Then on Christmas Eve, he could just strap Prancer in backwards and have his bright red ass light the way. HA! I crack me up sometimes.

The only one I have any respect for at all is Dasher. Atleast that guy hates me year round. He's the only one who doesn't get slowly nicer as December approaches. Hey, he may be a prick, but he's an honest prick. Of course, he leads the sleigh. So I guess his distaste for me is deep seeded.

So, here I am. Santa has asked me to drive the damn sleigh... AGAIN. Will I do it? Of course I'll do it. First of all, it's double time and a half holiday pay. Second, it's worth it to see the look on Dasher's face. Third, knowing the rest of the guys are getting a nice view of my ASS is quite comforting. Ew, except for Dancer and Prancer - I just don't swing that way. Maybe I should eat a nice big bowl of Chili and Bran Flakes before flight this year. Rudolph is now GAS POWERED! Wouldn't that be a shock!

I'm a freak. But I'm a freak who likes the fact that he has to be relied upon to get the presents out. Besides, everyone knows that after the flight, Vixen gets all liquored up and goes to bed with the guy that led the flight. So, you know what that means? I'M GETTIN' LAID!!!! WOOO HOOOO!!! Even though it is with a slut like Vixen, who I've had before. Hey, pussy is pussy right? Besides, you ought to see her when she's figured out she got a ride on MY sleigh! Yeah, you weren't complaining about this big red nose last night BITCH!

I LOVE this time of year. See ya'll Christmas Eve, and hopefully I won't shit on your house!

Love,
Rudolph