HEY CABLEMONKEY EAT YOUR HEART OUT...

PPFLIGHT · 12-17-2003, 08:01 AM

Good English
Subject: How to speak English GOOD

1. Verbs HAS to agree with their subjects.

2. Prepositions are not words to end sentences with.

3. And don't start a sentence with a conjunction.

4. It is wrong to ever split an infinitive.

5. Avoid cliches like the plague. (They're old hat)

6. Also, always avoid annoying alliteration.

7. Be more or less specific.

8. Parenthetical remarks (however relevant) are (usually) unnecessary.

9. Also too, never, ever use repetitive redundancies.

10. No sentence fragments.

11. Contractions aren't necessary and shouldn't be used.

12. Foreign words and phrases are not apropos.

13. Do not be redundant; do not use more words than necessary; it's highly superfluous.

14. One should NEVER generalize.

15. Comparisons are as bad as cliches.

16. Eschew ampersands & abbreviations, etc.

17. One-word sentences? Eliminate.

18. Analogies in writing are like feathers on a snake.

19. The passive voice is to be ignored.

20. Eliminate commas, that are, not necessary. Parenthetical words however should be enclosed in commas.

21. Never use a big word when a diminutive one would suffice.

22. Use words correctly, irregardless of how others use them.

23. Understatement is always the absolute best way to put forth earth-shaking ideas.

24. Eliminate quotations. As Ralph Waldo Emerson said, "I hate quotations. Tell me what you know."

25. If you've heard it once, you've heard it a thousand times: Resist hyperbole; not one writer in a million can use it correctly.

26. Puns are for children, not groan readers.

27. Go around the barn at high noon to avoid colloquialisms.

28. Even IF a mixed metaphor sings, it should be derailed.

29. Who needs rhetorical questions?

30. Exaggeration is a billion times worse than understatement.

And the last one...

31. Proofread carefully to see if you any words out.

CableMonkey · 12-17-2003, 08:18 AM

Are your Meds kicking in?

A few jokes at a time please. Give the Big Book of Jokes back to Bradley when you are done please.

PPFLIGHT · 12-17-2003, 08:23 AM

I apologize, our server went down and I had nothing better to do.

**WillRiker** · 12-17-2003, 08:24 AM

And now we get to the root of why Pissflight keeps antagonising CableMonkey...he wants him to eat something and I think we all know it isn't his heart out!!!

PPFLIGHT · 12-17-2003, 08:26 AM

I wouldn't give him the pleasure!

12-17-2003, 08:01 AM	#1 (permalink)
PPFLIGHT Morty's Sac Adjuster Join Date: Dec 2003 Posts: 187	HEY CABLEMONKEY EAT YOUR HEART OUT... Good English Subject: How to speak English GOOD 1. Verbs HAS to agree with their subjects. 2. Prepositions are not words to end sentences with. 3. And don't start a sentence with a conjunction. 4. It is wrong to ever split an infinitive. 5. Avoid cliches like the plague. (They're old hat) 6. Also, always avoid annoying alliteration. 7. Be more or less specific. 8. Parenthetical remarks (however relevant) are (usually) unnecessary. 9. Also too, never, ever use repetitive redundancies. 10. No sentence fragments. 11. Contractions aren't necessary and shouldn't be used. 12. Foreign words and phrases are not apropos. 13. Do not be redundant; do not use more words than necessary; it's highly superfluous. 14. One should NEVER generalize. 15. Comparisons are as bad as cliches. 16. Eschew ampersands & abbreviations, etc. 17. One-word sentences? Eliminate. 18. Analogies in writing are like feathers on a snake. 19. The passive voice is to be ignored. 20. Eliminate commas, that are, not necessary. Parenthetical words however should be enclosed in commas. 21. Never use a big word when a diminutive one would suffice. 22. Use words correctly, irregardless of how others use them. 23. Understatement is always the absolute best way to put forth earth-shaking ideas. 24. Eliminate quotations. As Ralph Waldo Emerson said, "I hate quotations. Tell me what you know." 25. If you've heard it once, you've heard it a thousand times: Resist hyperbole; not one writer in a million can use it correctly. 26. Puns are for children, not groan readers. 27. Go around the barn at high noon to avoid colloquialisms. 28. Even IF a mixed metaphor sings, it should be derailed. 29. Who needs rhetorical questions? 30. Exaggeration is a billion times worse than understatement. And the last one... 31. Proofread carefully to see if you any words out.

12-17-2003, 08:18 AM	#2 (permalink)
CableMonkey Join Date: Jul 2003 Posts: 1,795	Slow Down Turbo... Are your Meds kicking in? A few jokes at a time please. Give the Big Book of Jokes back to Bradley when you are done please. __________________ Argent Computer Services http://www.ArgentComputer.com

12-17-2003, 08:24 AM	#4 (permalink)
WillRiker Lusting Over Leelee Join Date: Aug 2003 Posts: 12,076	Re : HEY CableMonkey EAT YOUR HEART OUT And now we get to the root of why Pissflight keeps antagonising CableMonkey...he wants him to eat something and I think we all know it isn't his heart out!!! __________________ MTW's CafePress Store - Get Your MTW Gear Today!!! MTW's Merchandise - Get Your MTW Stuff From Morty!!

12-17-2003, 08:26 AM	#5 (permalink)
PPFLIGHT Morty's Sac Adjuster Join Date: Dec 2003 Posts: 187	Haaa I wouldn't give him the pleasure!

Thread Tools
Show Printable Version Email this Page
Display Modes
Linear Mode Switch to Hybrid Mode Switch to Threaded Mode

12-17-2003, 08:23 AM	#3 (permalink)
PPFLIGHT Morty's Sac Adjuster Join Date: Dec 2003 Posts: 187	I apologize, our server went down and I had nothing better to do.

Currently Active Users Viewing This Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)