Why did the
cross the road?
KINDERGARTEN TEACHER: To get to the other side.
PLATO: For the greater good.
ARISTOTLE: It is the nature of
s to cross roads.
KARL MARX: It was a historical inevitability.
TIMOTHY LEARY: Because that's the only trip the establishment would let it take, man.
SADDAM HUSSEIN: This was an unprovoked act of rebellion and we were quite justified in dropping 50 tons of nerve gas on it.
JACK NICHOLSON: 'cause it f.....g wanted to. That's the f.....g reason.
RONALD REAGAN: I forget.
CAPTAIN JAMES T. KIRK: To boldly go where no
has gone before.
HIPPOCRATES: Because of an excess of phlegm in its pancreas.
LOUIS FARRAKHAN: The road, you see, represents the black man. The
'crossed' the black man in order to trample him and keep him down.
MARTIN LUTHER KING, JR.: I envision a world where all
s will be free to cross roads without having their motives called into question.
MOSES: And God came down from the Heavens, and He said unto the
, "Thou shalt cross the road." And the
crossed the road, and there was much rejoicing.
FOX MULDER: You saw it cross the road with your own eyes. How many more
s have to cross the road before you believe it?
RICHARD M. NIXON: The
did not cross the road. I repeat, the
did NOT cross the road.
MACHIAVELLI: The point is that the
crossed the road. Who cares why? The end of crossing the road justifies whatever motive there was.
JERRY SEINFELD: Why does anyone cross a road? I mean, why doesn't anyone ever think to ask, What the heck was this
doing walking around all over the place, anyway?"
FREUD: The fact that you are at all concerned that the
crossed the road reveals your underlying sexual insecurity.
BILL GATES: I have just released the new Chicken Office 2000, which will not only cross roads, but will lay eggs, file your important documents, and balance your checkbook.
OLIVER STONE: The question is not, "Why did the
cross the road?" Rather, it is, "Who was crossing the road at the same time, whom we overlooked in our haste to observe the
crossing?"
DARWIN: Chickens, over great periods of time, have been naturally selected in such a way that they are now genetically disposed to cross roads.
EINSTEIN: Whether the
crossed the road or the road moved beneath the
depends upon your frame of reference.
BUDDHA: Asking this question denies your own
nature.
RALPH WALDO EMERSON: The
did not cross the road .. it transcended it.
ERNEST HEMINGWAY: To die. In the rain.
COLONEL SANDERS: I missed one?
Linear Mode
