Who's Online: , and 14 guests.
Who's Chatting:
User Name
Password
BeyondHelp
Funny, Offensive, & Wet T-Shirts
Win Free Shirts - BeyondHelp Contests

Donate and get your link here!
No Apologies Press Insane Pictures Eat Liver! Rude Fun
Humor 4 You Pics4Fun Metalscape Funny Collection
Life Is A Joke Flush The Web GigPosters Jokes Gallery
Dirty Elf Humor and Jokes Booty Vote Humor Links

Go Back   MTW Forums > General Crap > Jokes, Jokes and more Jokes!

Jokes, Jokes and more Jokes! Got a joke? Share it! Want to read some good ones? This is the place!

Reply
 
LinkBack (2) Thread Tools Display Modes
Old 08-05-2008, 07:13 PM   2 links from elsewhere to this Post. Click to view. #1 (permalink)
smilin heinz
A dogs nightmare
 
smilin heinz's Avatar
 
Join Date: Sep 2006
Posts: 2,930
Send a message via Yahoo to smilin heinz
Jokes Stupid Question

Again got this in an e-mail and thought I'd share.

The next time someone asks you a dumb question wouldn't you like to respond like this?


Yesterday I was buying a large bag of Purina dog chow for Athena the wonder dog at Wal-Mart and was about to check out. A woman behind me asked if I had a dog. What did she think I had, an elephant?


So since I'm retired, with little to do, on impulse, I told her that no, I didn't have a dog, and that I was starting the Purina Diet again. Although I probably shouldn't, because I'd ended up in the hospital last time, but that I'd lost 50 pounds before I awakened in an intensive care ward with tubes coming out of most of my orifices and IVs in both arms.

I told her that it was essentially a perfect diet and that the way that it works is to load your pants pockets with Purina nuggets and simply eat one or two every time you feel hungry and that the food is nutritionally complete so I was going to try it again. (I have to mention here that practically everyone in the line was by now enthralled with my story.)

Horrified, she asked if I ended up in intensive care because the dog food poisoned me. I told her no, I stepped off a curb to sniff an Irish setter's ass and a car hit us both.


I thought the guy behind her was going to have a heart attack, he was laughing so hard!


Wal-Mart won't let me shop there anymore."
__________________
Do not walk behind me, for I may not lead. Do not walk ahead of me, for I may not follow. Do not walk beside me, either. Just leave me the hell alone.
smilin heinz is offline  
Digg this Post!Add Post to del.icio.usBookmark Post in TechnoratiFurl this Post!
Reply With Quote
Old 08-06-2008, 05:06 AM   #2 (permalink)
mommysalomi
Elder Monkey
 
mommysalomi's Avatar
 
Join Date: May 2005
Posts: 12,060
Re: Stupid Question

good one
__________________
have my own little world. But it's OK, they know me here.
mommysalomi is offline  
Digg this Post!Add Post to del.icio.usBookmark Post in TechnoratiFurl this Post!
Reply With Quote
Old 08-06-2008, 02:46 PM   #3 (permalink)
Purple Dragon
Elder Monkey
 
Purple Dragon's Avatar
 
Join Date: Aug 2006
Posts: 12,742
Send a message via Yahoo to Purple Dragon
Re: Stupid Question

I would have said the same,people used to say to my sons when they were off school,you not at school today,which you answer with yes i'm at school in english lesson,dumbasses...
__________________
I just got lost in thought. It was unfamiliar territory.
Purple Dragon is offline  
Digg this Post!Add Post to del.icio.usBookmark Post in TechnoratiFurl this Post!
Reply With Quote
Old 05-04-2009, 07:38 AM   #4 (permalink)
levi907
Newbie Sperm
 
Join Date: May 2009
Posts: 13
Send a message via Yahoo to levi907
Re: Stupid Question

HA...fk wal-mart...so did you ever hook up w/the irish lase?
levi907 is offline  
Digg this Post!Add Post to del.icio.usBookmark Post in TechnoratiFurl this Post!
Reply With Quote
Reply

LinkBacks (?)
LinkBack to this Thread: http://www.mortystwistedworld.com/forums/jokes-jokes-more-jokes/21716-stupid-question.html
Posted By For Type Date
Morty's Twisted World This thread Refback 09-04-2008 11:31 AM
Morty's Twisted World This thread Refback 08-28-2008 06:48 AM


Currently Active Users Viewing This Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)
 
Thread Tools
Display Modes

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are On
Pingbacks are On
Refbacks are On



All times are GMT -7. The time now is 06:50 PM.


Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.8.1
Copyright ©2000 - 2009, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.
Content Relevant URLs by vBSEO 3.0.0