 Some Drummer Jokes....
All dedicated to a special someone......
How do you tell if the stage is level?
The drummer is drooling from both sides of his mouth.
How can you tell a drummer's at the door?
The knocking speeds up.
What's the last thing a drummer says in a band?
"Hey guys, why don't we try one of my songs?
What do you call a drummer that breaks up with his girlfriend?
Homeless.
How can you tell when a drummer's at the door?
He doesn't know when to come in
What's the best way to confuse a drummer?
Put a sheet of music in front of him.
What does a drummer use for contraception?
His personality.
Why is a drum machine better than a drummer?
Because it can keep good time and won't sleep with your girlfriend.
Hey, did you hear about the drummer who finished high school?
Me either.
How do you get a drummer to play quieter?
Put a chart in front of him
Why do guitarists put drumsticks on the dash of their car?
So they can park in the handicapped spot.
What do you call someone who hangs around with musicians?
A drummer.
How is a drum solo like a sneeze?
You can tell it's coming, but you can't do anything about it.
How do you get a drummer off your porch?
Pay him for the pizza.
What does the average drummer get on an IQ test?
Drool.
What's the first thing a drummer says when he moves to LA?
"Would you like fries with that sir?"
Why do bands have bass players?
To translate for the drummer.
I once asked a drummer how to spell "Mississippi".
He said, "the river or the state?"
Why are drummers always losing their watches?
Everyone knows they have trouble keeping time.
My personal fave....
What do you call a kid with a set of drums?
The poster child for Birth Control.
What has three legs and an asshole?
A drum stool.
What is the difference between a drummer and a savings bond?
One will mature and make money.
What do you call a beautiful woman on a drummer's arm?
A tattoo.
Why do drummers have lots of kids?
They're not too good at the Rhythm Method.
What's the difference between a large pizza and a drummer?
The pizza can feed a family of four.
What do you do if you accidentally run over a drummer?
Back up.
What do you call a drummer with half a brain?
Overqualified. | 
, Purple Dragon
Linear Mode
