41 rules men wish women knew....

[mommysalomi]

41 Rules Men Wish Women Knew

1. If you think you're fat, you probably are. Don't ask us.

2. Learn to work the toilet seat: if it's up put it down.

3 . Don't cut your hair. Ever.

4. Birthdays, Valentines, and Anniversaries are not quests to see if he can find the perfect present, again!

5. If you ask a question you don't want an answer to, expect an answer you don't want to hear.

6. Sometimes, he's not thinking about you. Live with it.

7. Don't ask him what he's thinking about unless you are prepared to discuss such topics as navel lent, the shotgun formation and monster trucks.

8. Get rid of your cat. And no, it's not different, it's just like every other cat.

9. Dogs are better than ANY cats. Period.

10. Sunday = Sports. It's like the full moon or the changing of the tides. Let it be.

11. Shopping is not sport.

12. Anything you wear is fine. Really.

13. You have enough clothes.

14. You have too many shoes.

15. Crying is blackmail. Use it if you must, but don't expect us to like it.

16. Your brother is an idiot, your ex-boyfriend is an idiot and your Dad probably is too.

17. Ask for what you want. Subtle hints don't work.

18. No, he doesn't know what day it is. He never will. Mark anniversaries on a calendar.

19. Yes, pissing standing up is more difficult than peeing from point blank range. We're bound to miss sometimes.

20. Most guys own two to three pairs of shoes-what makes you think we'd be any good at choosing which pair, out of thirty, would look good with your dress?

21. Yes and No are perfectly acceptable answers.

22. A headache that lasts for 17 months is a problem. See a doctor.

23. Your Mom doesn't have to be our best friend.

24. Foreign films are best left to foreigners.

25. Check your oil.

26. Don't give us 50 rules when 25 will do.

27. Don't fake it. We'd rather be ineffective than deceived.

28. It is neither in your best interest nor ours to take the quiz together.

29. Anything we said 6 or 8 months ago is inadmissible in an argument. All comments become null and void after 7 days.

30. If you don't dress like the Victoria's Secret girls, don't expect us to act like soap opera guys.

31. If something we said can be interpreted two ways, and one of the ways makes you sad and angry, we meant the other one.

32. Let us ogle. If we don't look at other women, how can we know how
pretty you are?

33. Don't rub the lamp if you don't want the genie to come out.

34. You can either ask us to do something OR tell us how you want it done not both.

35. Whenever possible, please say whatever you have to say during commercials.

36. Christopher Columbus didn't need directions, and neither do we.

37. Women wearing Wonderbras and low-cut blouses lose their right to complain about having their boobs stared at.

38. Consider Golf a mini-vacation from you. We need it, just like you do.

39. Telling us that the models in the men's magazines are airbrushed makes you look jealous and petty and it's certainly not going to deter us from reading the magazines.

40. The relationship is never going to be like it was the first two months we were going out.

41. Anyone can buy condoms.

[Purple Dragon]

nmber 2 my favorite.i hate the toilet seat left up...

[mommysalomi]

Yup me to.I have broken so many toilet seats from slaming them down in the middle of the night cause Jason has left them up !!!!!

[Purple Dragon]

neal always say's women should put the seat up ready for the man no way....

[mommysalomi]

Uh NO it does not work that way...I have to clean it so he needs to obey my rules..

[qwazywabbet]

I thought of alll kinds of replies for #2,,,such as "Live with it !!" (which yunz probaly are anyway) orrr, "They make toilet seats ???" But just out of curiosity,,, How many times have the ladies fell inda toilet ?? I remember Lisa falling "in" one nite. I think it was the first time I heard her cuss like a sailor

[mommysalomi]

I have only fallin in once. And that was when we first got together 13 years ago !!! After that I had told him if I EVER fell in the toilet in the middle of the night I was gonna go bare ass with wet cheeks and sit on his face...But I do have to look or I would've fallen in many a times !!!!

[Purple Dragon]

yea i fell in once ,so now i look to make sure seat down .....

[Lady Dee]

I have too, it was funny!

[Kel]

Those are great especially 5,17,and 29