Embarrassing moments..

[mommysalomi]

Embarrassing Moments


Ever spoken and wished that you could take the words back...
or that you could crawl into a hole ?
Here are a few stories of people who did and do....

1) How much for.

I walked into a hair salon with my husband
and three kids in tow and asked loudly,
"How much do you charge for a shampoo and a blow job ?
"I turned around and walked back out and never went back.
My husband didn't say a word... he knew better.

2) I think I like..

I was at the golf store comparing different kinds of golf balls.
I was unhappy with the women's type I had been using.
After browsing for several minutes,
I was approached by one of the good-looking gentlemen
who works at the store. He asked if he could help me.
Without thinking, I looked at him and said,
"I think I like playing with men's balls."

3) Nuts about You

My sister and I were at the mall and passed by a store
that sold a variety of nuts. As we were looking at the display case,
the boy behind the counter asked if we needed any help.
I replied, "No, I'm just looking at your nuts."
My sister started to laugh hysterically, the boy grinned,
and I turned beet-red and walked away.
To this day, my sister has never let me forget.

4) I saw Mommy kissing...

While in line at the bank one afternoon,
my toddler decided to release some pent-up energy and ran amok.
I was finally able to grab hold of her after
receiving looks of disgust and annoyance from other patrons.
I told her that if she did not start behaving "right now"
she would be punished. To my horror,
she looked me in the eye and said in a voice just as threatening,
"If you don't let me go right now,
I will tell Grandma that I saw you kissing Daddy's pee-pee last night!
"The silence was deafening after this enlightening exchange.
Even the tellers stopped what they were doing.
I mustered up the last of my dignity and walked out
of the bank with my daughter in tow.
The last thing I heard when the door closed
behind me were screams of laughter.

5) What kind do you want?

A lady picked up several items at a discount store.
When she finally got up to the checker,
she learned that one of her items had no price tag.
Imagine her embarrassment when the checker got on the intercom
and boomed out for all the store to hear,
"PRICE CHECK ON LANE THIRTEEN, TAMPAX SUPER SIZE."
That was bad enough,
but somebody at the rear of the store apparently misunderstood the word
"Tampax" for "THUMBTACKS."
In a business-like tone, a voice boomed back over the intercom.
"DO YOU WANT THE KIND YOU PUSH IN WITH YOUR THUMB
OR THE KIND YOU POUND IN WITH A HAMMER?"

6) For the last time..

Have you ever asked your child a question too many times ?
My three-year-old son had a lot of problems
with potty training and I was on him constantly.
One day we stopped at Taco Bell for a quick lunch in between errands.
It was very busy, with a full dining room.
While enjoying my taco, I smelled something funny,
so of course I checked my seven-month-old daughter, and she was clean.
Then I realized that Danny had not asked to go potty in a while,
so I asked him if he needed to go, and he said "No.
"I kept thinking, "Oh Lord, that child has had an accident,
and I don't have any clothes with me." Then I said, "Danny,
are you SURE you didn't have an accident?"
"No, "he replied. I just KNEW that he must have had an accident,
because the smell was getting worse. Soooooo! I asked one more time,
"Danny, did you have an accident?" This time he jumped up,
yanked down his pants, bent over and spread his cheeks and yelled.
"SEE MOM, IT'S JUST FARTS!!
" While 30 people nearly choked to death on their tacos laughing,
he calmly pulled up his pants and sat down.
An old couple made me feel better by thanking me
for the best laugh they'd ever had!



Okay for those of us that have kids what have they done to embaress you?

[TATTOOED_1_ONE]

While we were having dinner guests, my then 6 year old daughter disapeard for a few moments, we thought she had just gone to the washroom, but upon her return she had my at the times wife's vibrator and proceeded to tell our guests that mommy played with this toy while daddy was at work.....

[mommysalomi]

LMAO I would die......

I think my worst was when my daughter was 2 and my son an infant.My daughter saw a family with an infant in the same kind of car seat....Well we were at walmart located deep in the ghetto. My sons name is Nick and my daughter called him Nicky however being only 2 it came out niggy so we are in the ghetto and my daughter is running up to this black couple with an infant{In the same carseat as my sons} yelling niggy,niggy I thought I was gonna die literally I thought we'd get shot...

[smilin heinz]

Your lucky you didn't get shot!!

My daughter and I were in Walmart shopping and this rather large teenager was passing by and in her loudest talking voice my daughter said "mommy she's fat!!" I tried to quiet her and she said why, I told her it wasn't polite to say things like that, and she replied in her loudest talking voice still, "but it's not a lie she really is fat". I felt very bad for the other child, but we all teach our kids not to lie. By the way she didn't drop it the whole time we were shopping.