Confessions of old ladies

[Maximal]

Four older ladies are sitting around
Playing bridge.

The first lady says,
"You know girls,
I have known you all
A long time
And there is something
I must get off my chest.
I am a Kleptomaniac.
But, don't worry,
I have never stolen
From you and I never will;
We have been friends for too long."

The second lady says,
"Well, since we are having
True confessions here,
I must get something
Off my chest, too.
I am a Nymphomaniac.
But don't worry,
I have not hit on your husbands.
They don't interest me
And never will;
We have been friends for too long."


"Well," says the third lady,
"I, too, must confess something.
I am a Lesbian.
But do not worry,
I will not hit on you.
You are not my type.
We have been friends too long
For me to ruin our friendship."


The fourth lady stands up, says,
"I have a confession to make, also.
I am an uncontrollable gossip,
And I have some phone calls
To make!"

[Lady Dee]

I know a few old ladies like that, fuckin' old people!