Gotta' Watch Those Bears

[I Promise To Return To MTW Since I Have Been Banned]

A Priest, a Pentecostal Preacher and a Rabbi all served as chaplains to
the students of the University of Georgia in Athens. They would get
together two or three times a week at the Varsity for coffee and to talk
shop. One day, someone made the comment that preaching to people isn't
really all that hard. A real challenge would be to preach to a bear. One
thing led to another and they decided to do an experiment. They would all
go out into the woods, find a bear, preach to it, and attempt to convert
it.

Seven days later, they're all together to discuss the "experience". Father
Flannery, who has his arm in a sling, is on crutches, and has various
bandages, goes first. "Well," he says, "I went into the woods to find me a
bear. And when I found him I began to read to him from the Catechism.
Well, that bear wanted nothing to do with me and began to slap me around.
So I quickly grabbed my holy water, sprinkled him and, Holy Mary Mother of
God, he became as gentle a lamb. The bishop is coming out next week to
give him first communion and confirmation."

Reverend Billy Bob spoke next. He was in a wheelchair, with an arm and
both legs in casts, and an IV drip. In his best fire and brimstone oratory
he claimed, " WELL brothers, you KNOW that we don't sprinkle! I went out
and I FOUND me a bear. And then I began to read to my bear from God's HOLY
WORD! But that bear wanted nothing to do with me. So I took HOLD of him
and we began to wrestle... We wrestled down one hill, UP another and DOWN
another until we came to a creek. So I quick DUNKED him and BAPTIZED his
hairy soul. And just like you said, he became as gentle as a lamb. We
spent the rest of the praising Jesus"

They both looked down at the rabbi, who was lying in a hospital bed. He
was in a body cast and traction with IV's and monitors running in and out
of him. He was in bad shape. Rabbi Schutz looks up and struggles to speak
to the others. "Looking back on it, circumcision may not have been the
best way to start things out".