Letter to Tide

[Maximal]

Dear Tide Co.:
I'm writing to say what an excellent product you have!

I've used it all through my married life, as my Mom always told me it was
the best.
Now that I'm in my 50s, I find it even better! In fact, about a month ago, I
spilled some red wine on my new white blouse.
My inconsiderate & uncaring husband started to berate me about how stupid
and clumsy I was, and in general started being a pain in the neck.
One thing led to another & somehow I ended up with a lot of his blood on my
white blouse. I tried to get the stain out using a bargain detergent, but it
just wouldn't come out.

After a quick trip to the supermarket, I purchased a bottle of liquid Tide
with bleach alternative, & to my surprise & satisfaction, all of the stains
came out!
In fact, the stains came out so well that the detective who came by
yesterday told me that the DNA tests on my blouse were negative.

Then my attorney called & said that I would no longer be considered a
suspect in the disappearance of my husband. What a relief!
Going through menopause is bad enough without being a murder suspect! I
thank you, once again, for having such a great product.
Well, gotta go.

I have to write a letter to the Hefty bag people, another wonderful product.


Sincerely,

A Happy Consumer