I'm Not Drunk

[I Promise To Return To MTW Since I Have Been Banned]

I had eighteen bottles of whiskey in the cellar and my
wife insisted I empty the contents of each bottle down the sink, or else...
After careful consideration, I reluctantly agreed and finally
proceeded with the unpleasant task. I withdrew the cork from the first bottle
and poured the contents down the sink
with the exception of one glass, which I drank.


Then, I withdrew the cork from the second bottle and did likewise with it,
with the exception of one glass, which I drank.


I then withdrew the cork from the third bottle
and poured the whiskey down the sink which I drank.


I pulled the cork from the fourth bottle down the sink
and poured the bottle down the glass, which I drank.

I pulled the bottle from the cork of the next and drank one sink out of it,
and threw the rest down the glass.

I pulled the sink out of the next glass and poured the cork down the bottle.

Then, I corked the sink with the glass, bottled the drink and drank the pour.

When I had everything emptied, I steadied the house with one hand,
counted the glasses, corks, bottles, and sinks with the other,
which were twenty-nine, and as the houses came by I counted them again,
and finally I had all the houses in one bottle, which I drank.

I'm not under the affluence of incohol as some tinkle peep I am.
I'm not half as thunk as you might drink.
I fool so feelish I don't know who is me,
and the drunker I stand here, the longer I get.
I'm not drunk you shilly sit!

[Bones]

And there is a big huge monkey living in my ass!