ZEN

Bones · 05-09-2005, 09:47 PM

Zen for those who take life too Seriously

1. Save the whales. Collect the whole set.

2 A day without sunshine is like, night.

3. On the other hand, you have different fingers.

4. I just got lost in thought. It wasn't familiar territory.

5. 42.7 percent of all statistics are made up on the spot.

6. 99 percent of lawyers give the rest a bad name.

7. I feel like I'm diagonally parked in a parallel universe.

8. Honk if you love peace and quiet.

9. Remember, half the people you know are below average.

10. He who laughs last, thinks slowest.

12. The early bird may get the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese.

13. I drive way too fast to worry about cholesterol.

14. Support bacteria. They're the only culture some people have.

15. Monday is an awful way to spend 1/7 of your week.

16. A clear conscience is usually the sign of a bad memory.

17. Change is inevitable, except from vending machines.

18. Get a new car for your spouse. It'll be a great trade!

19. Plan to be spontaneous tomorrow.

20. Always try to be modest, and be proud of it!

21. If you think nobody cares, try missing a couple of payments.

22. How many of you believe in psycho-kinesis? Raise my hand.

23. OK, so what's the speed of dark?

24. How do you tell when you're out of invisible ink?

25. If everything seems to be going well, you have obviously overlooked something.

26. When everything is coming your way, you're in the wrong lane.

27. Hard work pays off in the future. Laziness pays off now.

28. Everyone has a photographic memory. Some just don't have film.

29. If Barbie is so popular, why do you have to buy her friends?

30. How much deeper would the ocean be without sponges?

31. Eagles may soar, but weasels don't get sucked into jet engines.

32. What happens if you get scared half to death twice?

33. I used to have an open mind but my brains kept falling out.

34. I couldn't repair your brakes, so I made your horn louder.

35. Why do psychics have to ask you for your name?

36. Inside every older person is a younger person wondering what happened.

37. Just remember - if the world didn't suck, we would all fall off.

38. Light travels faster than sound, which is why some people appear bright until you hear them speak

iLyKe2EeTcRaY0nZ · 05-09-2005, 10:00 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by bones2112

7. I feel like I'm diagonally parked in a parallel universe.

That's me.. :/

Meagan · 05-10-2005, 12:46 AM

Those were great bones, Most where oxymorons hehe I though those!

lilmamma · 05-10-2005, 08:39 AM

i like those bones good post

05-09-2005, 09:47 PM	#1 (permalink)
Bones When I walk nakid, my nuts swing in the breeze Join Date: Dec 2004 Posts: 2,242	ZEN Zen for those who take life too Seriously 1. Save the whales. Collect the whole set. 2 A day without sunshine is like, night. 3. On the other hand, you have different fingers. 4. I just got lost in thought. It wasn't familiar territory. 5. 42.7 percent of all statistics are made up on the spot. 6. 99 percent of lawyers give the rest a bad name. 7. I feel like I'm diagonally parked in a parallel universe. 8. Honk if you love peace and quiet. 9. Remember, half the people you know are below average. 10. He who laughs last, thinks slowest. 12. The early bird may get the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese. 13. I drive way too fast to worry about cholesterol. 14. Support bacteria. They're the only culture some people have. 15. Monday is an awful way to spend 1/7 of your week. 16. A clear conscience is usually the sign of a bad memory. 17. Change is inevitable, except from vending machines. 18. Get a new car for your spouse. It'll be a great trade! 19. Plan to be spontaneous tomorrow. 20. Always try to be modest, and be proud of it! 21. If you think nobody cares, try missing a couple of payments. 22. How many of you believe in psycho-kinesis? Raise my hand. 23. OK, so what's the speed of dark? 24. How do you tell when you're out of invisible ink? 25. If everything seems to be going well, you have obviously overlooked something. 26. When everything is coming your way, you're in the wrong lane. 27. Hard work pays off in the future. Laziness pays off now. 28. Everyone has a photographic memory. Some just don't have film. 29. If Barbie is so popular, why do you have to buy her friends? 30. How much deeper would the ocean be without sponges? 31. Eagles may soar, but weasels don't get sucked into jet engines. 32. What happens if you get scared half to death twice? 33. I used to have an open mind but my brains kept falling out. 34. I couldn't repair your brakes, so I made your horn louder. 35. Why do psychics have to ask you for your name? 36. Inside every older person is a younger person wondering what happened. 37. Just remember - if the world didn't suck, we would all fall off. 38. Light travels faster than sound, which is why some people appear bright until you hear them speak __________________ At some point in everyones life they fall down Alice's rabbit hole.

05-10-2005, 12:46 AM	#3 (permalink)
Meagan Elder Monkey Join Date: Mar 2005 Posts: 1,369	Those were great bones, Most where oxymorons hehe I though those! __________________ Never turn your back on a charging turtle................Those who never take anything too seriously have a distinct advantage over those who do

05-10-2005, 08:39 AM	#4 (permalink)
lilmamma Elder Monkey Join Date: Mar 2005 Posts: 3,090	i like those bones good post __________________ One saggy boob said to the other saggy boob: "If we don't get some support soon, people will think we're nuts."

Thread Tools
Show Printable Version Email this Page
Display Modes
Linear Mode Switch to Hybrid Mode Switch to Threaded Mode

Currently Active Users Viewing This Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)