Rules to Live By

**Morty** · 09-14-2004, 09:25 PM

Okay everyone! Let's see what YOUR "Rules To Live By" are.

If you have any good rules to live by, please reply to this thread and add them to the list. As the Rules pile up on this thread, I will relocate them on the Rules To Live By page and delete your post from here. So if you see your post is gone, odds are I already put it on the other page.

To check out the entire list of submitted Rules To Live By, check out this page.
These are a few of my rules:

Never pick your nose when your finger nail is jagged.

Always take a shower and wash your ass crack really well before a date. You never know when your date will end up with their face in your crotch.

Always take a shit BEFORE you shower. Try to build your body's routine ShitClock to line up with which ever time of the day it is you take your shower.

**Maximal** · 12-03-2004, 10:22 AM

Pass the dutchie on the left hand side

Orin · 12-19-2004, 01:40 PM

If you swallow the silver threepenny bit hidden in the Plum Pudding, you'll be worth at least threepence more than you were before you swallowed it--for about 24 hours!

jacobfie · 12-23-2004, 08:16 PM

Always Let The 'Dead' Firecracker (Or Hand Grenade/1/2 Stick Of Gelignite) Sit For At Least 20 Minutes After Lighting Before Running To Pick It Up

jacobfie · 12-23-2004, 08:21 PM

Don't Drop LSD While Driving Or Snort Cocaine While Flying An Aeroplane, Leave It Till You Get Home (Randy Rhoads Can Back Me Up On That One...Oh Wait, He's Dead)

jacobfie · 12-23-2004, 08:26 PM

Thinning 98 Octane Petrol With Water Will Not Make Lower Its Rating To 91 Octane Or Make It Last Longer...And Highly Tuned Engines Don't Appreciate A 50:1 Oil Ratio '2 Stroke Lawnmower' Mix Of Petrol That You Found In Your Garage And Decided To Put In Your Shelby GT350 (Even Worse Is When You Have To Take It Back To The Guy Who Restored It 2 Weeks Earlier And Get Him To Rebuild The Engine Again, Especially When That Guy Is Me!)

CableMonkey · 01-10-2005, 11:35 AM

Never tell Maximal that you saw Boobies.

Moe · 04-03-2005, 08:27 AM

don't share the joint.

Meagan · 04-20-2005, 05:55 PM

What Goes Around Comes Around......

Meagan · 04-20-2005, 06:00 PM

If u want to avoid sex for the night ladies put in a tampon and tell him u are bleeding haha

09-14-2004, 09:25 PM	#1 (permalink)
Morty Your Twisted Leader Join Date: Jul 2003 Posts: 7,527	Rules to Live By Okay everyone! Let's see what YOUR "Rules To Live By" are. If you have any good rules to live by, please reply to this thread and add them to the list. As the Rules pile up on this thread, I will relocate them on the Rules To Live By page and delete your post from here. So if you see your post is gone, odds are I already put it on the other page. To check out the entire list of submitted Rules To Live By, check out this page. These are a few of my rules: Never pick your nose when your finger nail is jagged. Always take a shower and wash your ass crack really well before a date. You never know when your date will end up with their face in your crotch. Always take a shit BEFORE you shower. Try to build your body's routine ShitClock to line up with which ever time of the day it is you take your shower. __________________ My bologna has a first name its...... um.... shit. I forget its name. God damnit

12-03-2004, 10:22 AM	#2 (permalink)
Maximal I'm Surrounded by Retards Premium Member Join Date: Jul 2004 Posts: 11,817	Pass the dutchie on the left hand side __________________ Mortys Twisted Treasure Hunt

12-23-2004, 08:16 PM	#4 (permalink)
jacobfie 70's Coke Fiend Join Date: Dec 2003 Posts: 390	Always Let The 'Dead' Firecracker (Or Hand Grenade/1/2 Stick Of Gelignite) Sit For At Least 20 Minutes After Lighting Before Running To Pick It Up __________________ MTW's Long Lost New Zealand Member

12-23-2004, 08:21 PM	#5 (permalink)
jacobfie 70's Coke Fiend Join Date: Dec 2003 Posts: 390	Don't Drop LSD While Driving Or Snort Cocaine While Flying An Aeroplane, Leave It Till You Get Home (Randy Rhoads Can Back Me Up On That One...Oh Wait, He's Dead) __________________ MTW's Long Lost New Zealand Member

12-23-2004, 08:26 PM	#6 (permalink)
jacobfie 70's Coke Fiend Join Date: Dec 2003 Posts: 390	Thinning 98 Octane Petrol With Water Will Not Make Lower Its Rating To 91 Octane Or Make It Last Longer...And Highly Tuned Engines Don't Appreciate A 50:1 Oil Ratio '2 Stroke Lawnmower' Mix Of Petrol That You Found In Your Garage And Decided To Put In Your Shelby GT350 (Even Worse Is When You Have To Take It Back To The Guy Who Restored It 2 Weeks Earlier And Get Him To Rebuild The Engine Again, Especially When That Guy Is Me!) __________________ MTW's Long Lost New Zealand Member

12-19-2004, 01:40 PM	#3 (permalink)
Orin MTW Resident Gandalf Impersonator Join Date: Feb 2004 Posts: 990	If you swallow the silver threepenny bit hidden in the Plum Pudding, you'll be worth at least threepence more than you were before you swallowed it--for about 24 hours!

01-10-2005, 11:35 AM	#7 (permalink)
CableMonkey Join Date: Jul 2003 Posts: 1,795	Never tell Maximal that you saw Boobies. __________________ Argent Computer Services http://www.ArgentComputer.com

04-03-2005, 08:27 AM	#8 (permalink)
Moe MTW Resident HoMoe Join Date: Apr 2005 Posts: 1,100	don't share the joint. __________________ http://www.myspace.com/moerockmusic Great music! moe rock music http://www.moerockmusic.com

04-20-2005, 05:55 PM	#9 (permalink)
Meagan Elder Monkey Join Date: Mar 2005 Posts: 1,368	What Goes Around Comes Around...... __________________ Never turn your back on a charging turtle................Those who never take anything too seriously have a distinct advantage over those who do

04-20-2005, 06:00 PM	#10 (permalink)
Meagan Elder Monkey Join Date: Mar 2005 Posts: 1,368	If u want to avoid sex for the night ladies put in a tampon and tell him u are bleeding haha __________________ Never turn your back on a charging turtle................Those who never take anything too seriously have a distinct advantage over those who do

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