[speedy]

grounds for divorce


A police officer pulls over a speeding car. The officer says, "I clocked
you at 80 mile per hour, sir." The driver says, "Gee, officer, I had it
on cruise control at 60, perhaps your radar needs calibrating."

Not looking up from her knitting the wife says sweetly from the
passenger seat, "Now don't be silly, dear, you know that this car
doesn't have cruise control." As the officer writes out the ticket, the
driver looks over at his wife and growls, "Can't you keep your mouth
shut for once?"

The wife smiles demurely and says, " You should be thankful your radar
detector went off when it did." As the officer makes out the second
ticket for the illegal radar detector unit, the man glowers at his wife
and says through clenched teeth, "Damn it, woman, can't you keep your
mouth shut."

The officer frowns and says, "And I notice that you're not wearing your
seat belt, sir. That's an automatic $75 fine."

The driver says, "Yeah, well, you see officer, I had it on, but took it
off when you pulled me over so that I could get my license out of my
back pocket." The wife says," Now, dear, you know very well that you
didn't have your seat belt on. You never wear your seat belt when you're
driving."

And as the police officer is writing out the third ticket the driver
turns to his wife and barks, "WHY DON'T YOU SHUT THE HELL UP??" The
officer looks over at the woman and asks, "Does your husband always talk
to you this way, Ma'am?"

(the killer line is next )
"Oh, heavens no, officer. Only when he's been drinking."